1. alilshifty:

    I need a part 2 to this

  2. meladoodle:

    oreimo:

    meladoodle:

    edward snowden sounds too much like kermit the frog and it’s distracting

    very different names imo

    his voice please… please don’t do me like this.. his voice

  3. sleepingwiththesea:

    don’t be a little shit to me on tinder

  4. Go down a waterslide when it isn’t wet and you’ll understand why foreplay is so important.

    meladoodle:

    thepocketvolcano:

    tow-tow:

    geekscoutcookies:

    image

    This is the best explanation I’ve ever read.

    wait.. isn’t that just… an ordinary slide…

    Have you ever been down a water slide? That shit is long as fuck and your ass is gonna get burned like no other.

  5. meladoodle:

    everytime the phone rings my granddad says ‘answer the phone’ pretty much immediately. like after just one or two rings. thanks gramps, for your wisdom on proper phone procedure. what would we do without you

  6. meladoodle:

I’m watching a comedy show called “puppetry of the penis” with my parents and its a truly unique experience

    meladoodle:

    I’m watching a comedy show called “puppetry of the penis” with my parents and its a truly unique experience

  7. meladoodle:

    just heard my dad say “right.. toenail cuttin time” from the living room and he seemed disproportionately excited about it

  8. meladoodle:

    if a guy you like is bad at texting you back, say “hey.. what’s the deal?” and if they say “sorry i’ve been a bit busy” you can say “YEAH MATE, I’VE BEEN BUSY TOO, WAITING FOR YOUR TEXT, LOOKING AT BRIDAL MAGAZINES, BUT I GUESS THAT WAS A WASTE OF MY GOD DAMN TIME”. i can’t guarantee this will work as im still waiting for a reply 2 months later, but i have a good feeling about it

About me

*see Me, Myself, and I*

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